


last of her kind.

by Humoresque



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alec Benjamin, Angst, Depression, Drama, Gen, I'm very disappointed, Songfic, The tags seem scary but it's more of delving into Namine's emotions, There wasn't even a Namine tag, Trigger Warning for Any Personal Self-Hatred, as well as depression, if you want to label it as that, kingdom hearts - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 03:35:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20370016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Humoresque/pseuds/Humoresque
Summary: "It was a scared smile, one that was afraid of being real in the fear that everything was simply an illusion of her mind. Still, for one brave moment, she wanted to believe in it."





	last of her kind.

**Author's Note:**

> Due to the severe lack of Namine-centered stories on here, I took it upon myself to create my own. I was inspired by Alec Benjamin's song, "Last of Her Kind," and the words just kind of flowed. I recommend listening to the song if you haven't already, or even just while reading this. I don't know, I just felt that it resonated with Namine somehow. 
> 
> Also, I didn't exactly make a time-frame for this, but after re-reading it, it feels like it's during KH2, but well before the events of Sora coming back to Twilight Town a second time. So I guess you can think of it like that. -grins-
> 
> "Last of Her Kind" by Alec Benjamin: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCLt0EfNHJs
> 
> *Please check out his other music as well. He's an amazing singer-songwriter who deserves more recognition*

A gentle sigh escaped soft pink lips as the young girl peeked out the window. More people had caught wind of the mansion she resided in, but none would enter. She hasn’t had any visitors since—no. She shook her head vehemently; that was not a path she wanted to tread. Not now. Her mind thought of all the drawings that were sprawled over the huge white room she was currently standing in.

_“It’s been seventeen days since you left.  
Twenty hours and thirty minutes.”_

She didn’t want to think of them. She didn’t want to be reminded of all the pain she caused, the hurt she brought. Yet still, she kept the drawings. The stupid, childish drawings of people she never should have known. The drawings that summoned more power and manipulation than she ever wanted to have. She didn’t have a choice. _“I was forced,”_ she kept telling herself. Yet she knew every step of the way what she was doing. She even had a sick thrill from it.

_“Count the seconds every breath,  
And watch the road roll out like ribbon.”_

Another sigh. She didn’t want to watch the strangers lurking around the mansion anymore. They may have seen her anyway. Suddenly, she wasn’t in the mood for visitors. They would leave soon enough. She started to walk back to the long table, surrounded by her drawings. She glanced at a few.

_“And maybe she just can’t forget,_  
_All the miles they have driven._  
_ Since the moment that they met.”_

Her drawings, the cursed things. She was a witch, something she herself could admit to. Her power was frightening. Memory manipulation, an unheard-of capability for a Nobody. Born from the darkness of one pure of heart, from the emotions he felt for another… Naminé was not born normally. She was _created_, given a so-called “life” by a boy who never knew her. She could never hate him for it, no. His heart was so pure, so forgiving… and she trampled all over it.

_“He took her heart_  
_Into his hands._  
_ Turned into ashes,_  
_ Slipped through his fingers.”_

As far as she was concerned, she did not deserve to be saved. Her true self, the one she was based off of, did not deserve to be forgotten. Yet she used her power to erase her. She placed herself in that girl’s place. The two young boys swore up and down that they knew her since forever, when truly, it was not her. They spoke of a charm, yet it was not meant for her. They fought each other because of her, and to that, she could never forgive herself.

_“It torn him apart,_  
_And he couldn’t stand._  
_ Watching the magic_  
_ Turn into cinders.”_

The gentle boy with a pure heart. The serious boy with a wavering heart. Both of them cared for her so tenderly, so fiercely… yet she manipulated them. She stared at one of the many drawings she did: the two boys standing, with her in the middle. Her fingers gently caressed the drawing, a sudden smile on her face. If things were different… if perhaps she wasn’t born so unnaturally, maybe that could have been a reality. Maybe her true self would have never needed to be replaced. Maybe the four of them could have been real friends, growing up on that island. She always wanted to visit it, the real one. She wanted to try the fruit that spoke of destiny and promised forever.

_“So when you pull away  
Don’t let the memories blind you.”_

A lone tear escaped her eye as she thought of a possibility that could never happen. She wished for a different life, a different story she could tell. She longed for a happy life, one free of manipulation and betrayal. She wanted what _she_ had.

_“All of the things you chase_  
_Falling away behind you_  
_ Is something you can’t replace.”_

What would have been the point, though? Her eyes moved to the drawing of her true self holding the fruit that spoke of destiny. She wanted that fruit. She wanted to be her. She was always alone, but her true self had them. Even before, she knew what love was. Naminé’s eyes glanced quickly at the drawing of a library. The girl lived there with an elderly woman. Her grandmother, most likely. She spoke of light and darkness to a girl so young; she never would have understood what her grandmother was talking about. Yet, the girls’ eyes shone so brightly. Her grandmother wasn’t the only special person she met when she was young. Yet another desire Naminé could never have.

_“Chained to the love that bonds you.”_

If Naminé was being completely honest with herself, she felt trapped in her own jealousy. She was sure that anyone else would have been proud to have her power, to be able to alter memories. With it, they could become someone’s number one. They could become irreplaceable to the one that matters to them most. They could be happy forever. But whenever she looked at her drawings of her true self, of the girl who gained what she craved, she couldn’t hide her bitter feelings. She had them all. She had everything, and she didn’t even do anything. She was born _normally_ and suddenly she was blessed with a gift. That gift granted her irreplaceable friends, a never-ending love, and memories that would last beyond the stars of time. Her life was a legend among them all, and what did Naminé have?

_“Don’t let the past remind you  
She’s the last of her kind.”_

Hurt. Jealousy. Pain. Fear. Bitterness. And yet she smiled. When she wasn’t crying, she smiled. Even as the tears stained her drawings, she would do it all with a smile on her face. She could always imagine a better life. She could always imagine being normal. She could always imagine not being a freak. She could always imagine not being a self-proclaimed witch. She could be free.

_“The last of her kind.  
The last of her kind.”_

She needed to get away from this room. Her drawings hurt to look at. They simply reminded her of her past mistakes, of a life she craved but could never obtain. She walked away. A fist was clenched, and she bit her lip, willing herself not to cry. She bit hard, feeling pain. She was happy, considering she was meant to be emotionless. Witches do not have happy endings. Dolls do not feel. Naminé, as she herself has said countless times, deserved nothing.

_"_ _It’s been twenty-three days since they spoke  
And he almost sent a postcard.”_

After leaving the White Room, Naminé leaned on the railing. She looked down, taking a moment to really look at the Foyer. She glanced towards the direction of where the Dining Room was. That table was still broken in there. No one was here to fix it, and she did not know how. Still, there were times she would go in just for memories sake. Before, this entire mansion was beautiful. Filled with people smiling, children laughing, and just overall joy. She had no memories of this, but she had heard someone say it. Someone who came to this mansion before.

_“In every sentence that he wrote  
Etched like tombstones on a graveyard.”_

She wanted to walk outside, but she felt that she did not deserve that. She did not deserve to breathe the same air that they did. _Oh no…_ her thoughts started to drift. She couldn’t think of them. She couldn’t miss them. She did not have that privilege. Instead, she pushed herself off the railing and made her way towards the Library.

_“And maybe he just can’t accept_  
_All the strings that needed changing_  
_ The mistakes that he was making.”_

Opening the door, she felt the air escape her lungs as she was suddenly surrounded by books. She actually took the time to read through some of them during her free time. Some were about different worlds. Others detailed darkness and light. One specific book had mentioned princesses and keyholes, but back then, she didn’t understand it. Now, she knew exactly what it entailed. Her True Self… Kairi… was a princess. Then she became a warrior. _Kairi…_ it crushed her to speak of her name. It felt dishonorable. But he wouldn’t have said that. He would’ve wanted her to speak of her endless times.

_“He took her heart_  
_Into his hands._  
_ Turned into ashes_  
_ Slipped through his fingers.”_

Her fingers gently grazed through books as she passed, eyes focusing on the strange emblem that was drawn on the table. She knew the purpose of it, gaze shifting to the stairwell leading below. The next room scared her. It was where it all happened. It was what lead to the inevitable. Further beyond would lead to where they once slept. Her hands were shaking, her feet unstable. Yet she continued on, because she needed to confront this head on.

_“It tore him apart,_  
_And he couldn’t stand._  
_ Watching the magic_  
_ Turn into cinders.”_

Step. Step. Step. Each agonizing step down those stairs added an extra weight onto her already heavy heart, if she even had one. She wasn’t so sure. By the time she reached the door, she wasn’t too sure about whether she could keep going. Beyond the closed door lead to it all. Whatever safe feelings she had in the Old Mansion always escaped her whenever she got here. Her mind flashed back to them and letting out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding, proceeded to open the door.

_“So when you pull away  
Don’t let the memories blind you.”_

The first thing she noticed as she walked through the opened door was all of the computer screens surrounding the area. There was one monitor on top of another and it just seemed to circle the entirety of the room. This is where that old man watched over them. He claimed that he was monitoring them, studying them. There was also something about a _DTD_, but Naminé never really questioned it. She knew what he meant anyway, much to her chagrin. It was the reason why all of this happened in the first place.

_“All of the things you chase_  
_Falling away behind you_  
_ Is something you can’t replace.”_

The one thing that made her remember that the Twilight Town that she resided in was the real one was that the main computer was destroyed. Pieces of glass still remained on the floor, and she made sure to watch her footing. Still, she wanted to look closer. Minding her steps, she gently moved close, placing her fingers on what remained of the keyboard. A flash of memories flew through her mind as she did so. _Rage. Sadness. Confusion. _That’s what he felt when he destroyed this. That was what Roxas felt. That is also what Riku felt upon entering this room with that man, with Ansem the Wise. So many questions, yet none were ever answered.

_“Chained to the love that bonds you.”_

Her mind drifted to Roxas. That poor boy… he did not deserve any of this. He lived a life thinking only of his friends, of the simple times. He thought of the beach he was never able to go to, the summer homework assignment he never finished, and of the people who lived in this town that he knew so personally. She shook her head. She supposed that was her fault as well. She should never have said those cruel words to him when they first met in the White Room. The place where a heart should be still trembled to this day whenever she thought back to the broken expression on his face.

_“Don’t let the past remind you  
She’s the last of her kind.”_

She started to falter once again. She did not want to go to the next room. That room held so much as well. What did Riku feel when he stepped in this room? How did he feel when he stepped in that hall? That open space… where the portal is in the fabricated Twilight Town. The pure heart has not seen it yet, but he will. He has no choice. It is as if everything was pre-destined for him. She did not draw it, but deep down, she just knew. There would be a lot of pain for him going forward. Roxas felt pain. Riku felt pain. The flamed one… _Axel…_ he also knew of pain. The pain of losing two best friends; one, he could not even remember.

_“The last of her kind.”_

Naminé supposed that she and her were incredibly similar. Used for our powers. Forgotten by the rest. They even shared the same birth, if one could call it that. The pure heart, the one who bonds them all together, is the reason the two girls connected. Not just him, but Kairi as well. The other girl, the one who was forgotten by her best friends and cast aside into the darkness… she wanted to be found again. Naminé wished to see her again. If things were different, she believed that they could be close friends. If ever one felt lonely, the other would come for her. They would have found solace in one another, a safe haven when no one else could offer it. A lone tear escaped.

“_Xion. I wish to see you.”_

Even she was shocked that she had uttered those words. She was more shocked that her name was spoken so naturally. Yes… perhaps if things were different, maybe then. She wiped the tear from her eye and, swallowing the lump in her throat, proceeded to walk towards the door on the left. She needed to do this, for her own sake.

_“He took her heart_  
_Into his hands._  
_ Turned into ashes,_  
_ Slipped through his fingers.”_

The Basement Hall. That was the name of the room Naminé found herself in next. A flood of memories came into her mind as she looked away, taking small steps through the room. Roxas and Axel fought here once. How much did it hurt them, to have to fight your best friend? She couldn’t understand the pain. She never once even had a friend, let alone someone to fight with. All she had done was cause the fighting, to become the reason why others fought. Riku and… she shook his head. She did not dare deserve to speak his name. Even if he forgave her for what she had done, she could never forgive herself. Not for him, or for anyone.

_“It tore him apart,_  
_But he couldn’t stand._  
_ Watching the magic_  
_ Turn into cinders.”_

She couldn’t help but wonder, staring at the spot where the portal would be, if her self-depreciating thoughts would upset him. Would he yell at her? Would he cry for her? Would he beg her to stop and look inside herself to see someone wonderful? She slightly smiled to herself at the thought.

“_It would be nice,”_ she thinks to herself.

There wasn’t any evidence that proved such, but she wanted to believe he would still reach a hand out to her. She still wanted to believe that his heart was so warm and gentle that there would be a place in it for her. She still wanted to believe that she would not be forgotten by him. She remembered the gentle little creature that always accompanied him on his shoulder or tucked away in his hoodie or one of the pockets his jacket harnessed. Always holding that journal of his, he once said that she was to be mentioned in it. Her name… was it still there? She liked to believe so. All the memories that crashed felt overwhelming, but she knew that more was to come. She was almost to the end of it all… and the beginning of much more. Taking small steps, she pressed forward towards the next door. She knew what awaited beyond.

_“So when you pull away  
Don’t let the memories blind you.”_

This hallway always seemed to bring chills down her spine. The Basement Corridor, as Ansem the Wise called it once, was where the smaller pods laid. She took steps closer and closer to them. There was so many pods… yet she did not know if there were any others who were placed in them before her time. She wasn’t even sure if the pods were already there, or if they were created after her birth. She stepped closer to the two pods near the final door, gently placing a hand on both of them. These were the ones where his companions were sleeping. _Donald… Goofy…_ one as hot-blooded as can be, the other silly and gentle. There could be no better allies for him than them. They went through so much in what feels like such a short amount of time. Even here, they slept, awaiting their hero to open his eyes in the next room. She turned her head towards the door.

_“All of the things you chase_  
_Falling away behind you_  
_ Is something you can’t replace.”_

No turning back. She couldn’t, not when she braved herself to get here. All this time, she kept fighting with herself about whether or not this was something she was supposed to do. She was afraid of discovering truths that she didn’t wish to believe in. Yet here she was, fears and all. She couldn’t turn back. Not now. Step after step, she edged closer to the final door. She felt the tears threatening to fall, but she held them back this time. She could cry after she opened the door. She couldn’t falter now. For his sake, she could no longer falter. For all of their sakes, she had to keep going. She nodded to no one, and gently pressed a hand on the door.

It opened.

_“Chained to the love that bonds you.”_

Pure white. Intricate designs on the floor but just plain white on the walls. And right in the middle of it all, in this spacious white room, was a giant pod. It was a beautiful device, even Naminé had to admit. Larger in size than the ones in the Basement Corridor, all the while adorning giant petal-like decorations on the bottom. It was almost like a shrine, or a throne… all for the purpose of rebuilding memories. He slept inside that pod for an entire year, while she stood by him all the while, recollecting and reforming the memories that was tampered with. She erased the memories that never existed… the memories in which she was someone important to him. Somewhere deep down… she never wanted to erase them. She wanted to be where Kairi stood. She wanted to be where Riku stood. She wanted to be where Donald stood. She wanted to be where Goofy stood. Anyone close to him, she wanted to be there. She wanted their place. She knew that a Nobody like her was selfish, yet she relished in it. For once, she wanted to _want_ something. She _wanted_ what they had. She _wanted_ him. All to herself, she simply wanted him.

_“Don’t let the past remind you  
She’s the last of her kind.”_

Walking towards the pod, Naminé felt like it was staring right back at her. She didn’t want to think of all the memories that flashed through her mind then. All she thought of was him. Riku as well, since she did once speak with him here. The two of them were watching the pure heart sleep in that very pod a year ago. She did offer him the same service, but he had declined. His words somewhat haunted her. He would rather face the darkness head on. After all, it wasn’t like he was the one whose memories were altered with. She understood, but she still feared for him. The darkness is a lingering sentient being. It feeds off the weak and afraid. However, Riku is strong. He has always been strong, ever since the two boys were children. She understood that much.

_“The last of her kind.”_

She placed a hand on the pod. She could still picture his face. His eyes closed, body floating within… he looked so peaceful. It wasn’t that long ago that he was here. Another hand landed on the pod, and she began to pound on it. She couldn’t stop the tears from falling. Every weak pound she gave the pod was for everyone she knew. _Roxas. Xion. Axel. Riku. Kairi. Ansem the Wise. Donald. Goofy._ _So—_ She did not want to finish his name. Even now, despite getting this far and being in this room where it ended and began, she still did not believe in herself enough to even think his name. She did not deserve his kindness. She did not deserve his forgiveness. And yet… she wanted to. She wanted to deserve his smile. She wanted to deserve his lips saying her name. She wanted to deserve _him._ Her legs began to shake, and she found herself tumbling to the ground.

She screamed. She screamed and screamed and _screamed_. She shouted out all of their names but his. She hoped they heard her. She wished that maybe somehow, by her saying their names, they would remember her. Perhaps, they would come for her. They could save her from herself, her own internal nightmares, enveloped within the darkness she herself created. And yet, even more than that, she wanted to remember herself. She wanted this moment to be the reminder that she was real. Even if she wasn’t normal, or given a real birth, or even had a family… she wanted to be real. She wanted to be herself.

There was so much she wanted to do. She wanted to apologize to Roxas for saying those hurtful things and ask if they could share that delicious-looking sea-salt ice cream together. She wanted to ask Riku for forgiveness. She wanted to get to know Axel better. She wanted to ask Ansem the Wise more questions. She wanted to listen to Donald’s rants and smile afterwards. She wanted to play games with Goofy, and even if she lost, he would have made her feel like a winner. She wanted to hug Xion so tightly and tell her that, despite not having her own heart, she loved her immensely. She wanted to hold Kairi’s hands and ask her more about the legend of the fruit that spoke of destiny and promised forever. She wanted to hold his hand, just one, and ask if they could be friends, all the while crying simple tears. All of that, she could only hope they happened.

Suddenly, there was something akin to a gust of air that brushed past her. She slowly raised her head, but her legs still wouldn’t move. She stayed crouched on the ground, hands still on the pod in fists, shaking ever so gently. She wasn’t sure, but it felt like him. It was impossible, but she wanted to believe that it was him trying to reach out to her. Maybe he had heard her, somehow. The air was warm… comforting. It felt a lot like him. She allowed a smile to take form on her face. It wasn’t a full smile, but it was still a smile. It was a scared smile, one that was afraid of being real in the fear that everything was simply an illusion of her mind. Still, for one brave moment, she wanted to believe in it. She wanted to trust it. Ever so gently, she pushed her body closer to the pod, gently kissing the surface. Fresh tears shone brilliantly against her cheeks, and she whispered the name of the one who may, or may not, be reaching out to her at that moment. For that, Naminé would allow herself something so very pure.

Maybe someday, he’ll come for her again.

_“The last of her kind.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully you all liked it! It's been a while since I've written anything; not just here on AO3, but at all. I've been kind of afraid to for personal reasons, but this is my attempt at getting back into the groove. Please leave comments if you'd like and I'll do my best to answer them all at a prompt speed! :)


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